I make a really BAD Drunk!

 

 

I am Numb. I'll admit that, but this is because I am un-used to "Feeling". Alcoholics drink - not to forget but - to stop feeling.

 

I simply do not know how I feel. I certainly do not want to be in love or at least not with the person I am in love with. I want intimacy and companionship. Some-one I can talk to, that it's ok to cuddle.....Oh and Nice...Nice is Good....

 

 

Un-touched....

 

 

 

 ;

I feel disappointed.

Once a hawk has decided on it's prey, it gives no thought to another - even if it enter into the midst of a thousand of them.

 

Hagakure.

More Bluster and wind from the Bully...18.00 Yesterday.

 

 

 Harranguing one of my neighbours boys about what he was going to do with me.And there I was. .Poor Sod.

 

 

By the time the old bill came D*****  was so pissed and literally frothing he was taken to Hospital.

 

In the a.m he was complaining, when I saw them in the park, that "Everywhere I go I see him."

 

 

But that is inevitable if you try to intimidate someone on their Home Ground.Two thirds of my life have been spent in this Borough.I get around.

 

 

 

Saw Hannah at 12 ish, she ran off and got straight on the phone...I avoided her but Said "You have nothing to fear from me"..

 

Who has convinced her I am now a danger?

 

 

Do people have such little faith in love, that they felt a little persecution would change my feelings..

 

 

My love does not burn like fire, it flows like water, for the fire that burns twice as bright lives half as long....

 

 

But as I am an Alcoholic that does not drink, I love but will not go to that poisoned chalice either.

let  it go.

Eight years sober yesterday...

 

And having chanted about it, I shall not succumb to seeking Revenge against Hannah. I could. but I am more merciful than they are.

 

 

 

It's not here Fault she's a VICTIM.

I heard a neighbour screaming at her child to "Toughen Up" cos' she was crying.....

 

 

Ho hum..

I have today received my pack from the Witness Protection, and based on the fact that the bully is to have no contact with me, I have reported the incident on Saturday and checked (with Sainsbury's) if the area of the car-park is covered by camera and it is..

 

So I have called the police and made a preliminary report and am going in tomorrow to make the complaint and a statement...

 

As a former employee of the Inland Revenue Services I may feel it my duty to report, that he has been avoiding paying tax on 350 pounds a week for 8 years and as a responsible citizen I may have to report Hannah to the DSS for falsley claiming benefit, whilst co-habiting and raise my questions about Harry's safety with Social Services.

This perfection enables one to have the ability to completely cut off the "self " from the imperfection of the outsider. No matter how I may feel about something, "I" do not need to feel attached to it.

 

After all "You are not your own, how much less your sons and  daughters."

Even if a Samurai's head, were to be suddenly cut off. He should still be capable of one more act with certainty.

Amongst the mottoes on Lord Naoshige's walls was this one,

 

 "Great matters should be taken lightly",

 

Master Ittei added "Small matters should be taken seriously."

I had a lovely weekend with Jack. I AM HAPPY...

 

(despite being pointed out and threatened with "Being Lost" by a twat outside Sainsbury's Richmond).

 

Do you suppose they have CCTV in the Car-park.?

 

I THINK THEY DO.

 

 

 

 

And now there either has to be, a verry long pregnancy or a sudden feigned Miscarriage.....But according to Hannah's testimony she was 4.5 months pregnant on February 16th...So the baby should be due soon..around her birthday..

  

 

I need you to Dance

I need you to Strip,

I need you to shake

your little ass and tits.

 

I need you to Grind,

like your'e Dancin' for tips

And gimme what I need

while we listen to Prince.......

 

 

Cos' I go On and on and on.

On and on and on.

On and on and on.